A Gift Taken For Granted

Assalam Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu :)

May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah azza wa jal be upon you!

Before I begin let us consider some of Allah’s gifts… Take a moment and list at least 5 things that you are grateful for… (be sure to answer this)

... ... ... ... ... Done?

I’m sure your family and your best friend must have made into the list right? ;)

Now let me ask you to imagine this. You have a friend and they consider you very close. They come to you for help, when they’re depressed and when they need a support. You being a good friend, lend a shoulder to them and always have their back. But one day, when you were the one who was in need of a listener to your problems and approached them for help, they turn their face away. Not only that, they snap at you and say they’ve got more important ‘stuff’ to do. Tragic, isn’t it? Needless to say, wouldn’t you feel worse? Your friend, whom you helped selflessly treated you like you never mattered to them… Did you deserve that treatment when you looked after your friend as your very own family?

Family reminds me… Has it ever happened to you that your mom has asked you something regarding her phone and your only reply was “Not now mom! I’m busy”. And what are you doing? Downloading some Islamic videos? Even downloading Islamic videos doesn’t give you a reason to avoid your mom. Or maybe she asked you to get a glass of water and you did run to the kitchen but with a beautiful grumpy look. When you were sick (I’m not even going to your infant stage), and asked your mom for a glass of water like ten times a day, has she e-v-e-r avoided you? When she was in the kitchen, cooking a meal for you in the heat and you like a 3 year old ask your mom “Mom can I pleaseeeeeee go out with my friends to the mall? I need to shop with them. I know you’re toooooo gooood to say no. Pleaseeeee mom?” She knows you’re just being nice to her so that she gives you permission and yet she allows you. But the very same day if she asks you to apply balm on her shoulders, you’re still busy. Why? Cause she’s toooo goooood to force you to do something you don’t want to.

This has been going on since the past 2 decades, give or take a few more years.

Our parents were able to understand our needs and wants since the time we couldn’t even utter a letter let alone a word. Neither did they complain nor do they show pretty faces that we do when they ask us to do something for them. I know they yell and get angry. But it isn’t because they like doing it, it’s because we force them to. And after they yell, they feel even more horrible than we do. Don’t we get angry? Then why is it so abnormal for us when they lose their temper. They aren’t superficial beings of course. When they’ve worked hard and are still working to bring you up in the lifestyle you prefer, fulfill not only your needs but even the useless wants, kill their desires so that they can give you the best, do they deserve to be treated the way we do? Don’t you think they at least deserve more respect and care?

What they deserve has been mentioned by Allah (swt) Himself in Surah Israa, verse 23:

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.”

And verse 24:

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”

See the word highlighted? احسان or Ehsaan. What is the big deal in this word that it’s required to be highlighted?

Ehsaan means treating our parents with respect, kindness and honour.

Imagine, Allah (swt), The Creator of everything in the heavens and in the earth, The Master, The Most Powerful, revealed a verse nearly 1400 years ago commanding you to honour your parents and treat them with kindness. We’re so used to not obeying the commands of Allah (swt) that we let this slip by so easily.

What happens when you obey Allah azza wa jal?

1. “Obey Allah and the Messenger and perhaps you will be shown mercy.” (3:132)

2. “If you obey him, you will be guided…” (24:54)

3. “Whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger is with those whom Allah has blessed.” (4:68)

What happens when we disobey Allah azza wa jal?

“Say, ‘Obey Allah and the Messenger.’ Then if they turn away, Allah does not love the disbelievers.”

(3:32)

We’re given the title of disbelievers. Is that what you want for yourself? The choice is yours to make.

By treating your parents with ehsaan, you’re not only pleasing your parents but you’re paving your way to Jannah, In sha Allah because you’re also obeying Allah (swt).

“Paradise lies at the feet of your mother” and “Pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the father and Displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the father” (Tirmidhi)

Our tongue is so used to uttering these hadiths and our ears are so used to listening to these hadiths that our hearts has lost the power to feel its depth.

May Allah (swt) give us the ability to be of service to our parents and make us sadaqa jaariya for them. May He (swt) help us obey Him and our parents and may He unite us with our family in Jannah. Ameen.

Assalam Alaykum.